


Don't Leave Me Alone

by kirtastrophe



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Cheating, Crying, Depression, Falling In Love, M/M, Marriage Failure, Sexual Confusion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7445986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirtastrophe/pseuds/kirtastrophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~AU where Josh is in love with Tyler~</p><p>"Tyler responded by shaking his head and wrapping himself up against Josh, trying to control his shaky breathing from crying so much. There was a chill in the air so Josh pulled the blanket up around them and held Tyler, making circles with his thumb against his arm and whispering "It'll be okay.""</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(JOSH'S POV)

A wave of relief flooded Josh as he greeted his last fan for the night. Tyler was at the point of passing out from exhaustion after the show was over, so he didn't join Josh for meeting fans and Josh was feeling anxious. He didn't like when he had to do these kinds of things alone. Usually he was able to push away the anxiety, but tonight it was nagging at the back of his mind like a storm cloud ready to burst. He took a deep breath as he smiled and said goodbye to the overly friendly fan; her winking at him as she walked away. 

While returning back to the tour bus he finally let his thoughts of the last month creep back into his mind. People were still sending him threats for not letting Tyler stay over during the filming of the Heathens music video, and it hurt; it physically hurt him. Mostly because they didn't understand. Nobody knew that he and Tyler had a fight that night and Josh didn't even know why it happened. Well, he knew why it happened, but he wasn't ready to confront it. Not tonight. After thinking about it too much his chest started to feel tight and sore, so he pushed it away again. _Not tonight..._ , he kept telling himself.

He tried to open the bus door as quietly as he could to not wake up Tyler. The rest of the crew was off partying tonight so it was just the two of them, and Josh was relieved. _Some peace and quiet sounds like heaven right now..._ , he thought. After going to their small bus bathroom and changing his clothes/washing his face he carefully climbed into his bunk above Tyler. For a brief second he could see Tyler's face lit up from the moonlight; his eyes peacefully closed and his chest rising and falling rhythmically. Josh couldn't imagine how tired he must've been after performing that show. I mean, it was pretty much their best show yet. The audience was especially lively and the energy was palpable in the arena. Josh smiled as he replayed the night in his mind and wrapped his blankets around him. This was one he definitely wouldn't forget.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh was startled awake when he heard Tyler crying beneath him. His phone's time read 3:45 AM so he figured he must've been asleep for at least a half hour. He leaned toward the edge of his bed and whispered, "Hey. Ty, you okay?"

Tyler was sobbing uncontrollably at this point and Josh's heart started racing. He didn't like hearing his best friend cry, it made his chest do the tight thing that he didn't like. Josh jumped down to his bunk and asked, "Wait, dude, are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"No..." Tyler choked, trying to wipe the tears off his eyes. Josh could see that he hadn't even taken off the blurryface makeup in his exhaustion and now there were black smudges all over his cheeks. And he wasn't sure which question he was saying no to, but he didn't want to prod.

"Is there anything I can do?" Josh offered, hoping that he could do anything to comfort him. Ever since their fight a week ago things have been shaky between them, and Josh knew it. He didn't want to upset the balance they had finally achieved, but he wanted to help; to maybe wipe the tears off his cheeks...

 _No._ He thought, pushing those thoughts to the very back of his mind. The thoughts that have been breaking holes in his conscience and flooding his brain with things he thought he would never think. Or feel. Actually, now that he thought about it, he could very easily be the one crying right now. He was also a sobbing mess, but he was good at pushing it away and concealing it. Tyler was the opposite; he was easily able to let his emotions out.

"I don't know..." Tyler sniffed as he took a shaky breath and looked at Josh. His eyes were bloodshot. Tyler looked at Josh as if he were searching for something in his eyes; as if he were looking for an answer. He held eye contact with Josh and Josh didn't know what to do, so he kept looking at him too. After a minute Tyler looked as if he gave up and rested his eyes on the ground, releasing the breath he was holding. "Josh, c'mere", he finally said, moving over a little on the bed.

Josh got on his knees and rolled himself onto the mattress, feeling a pang of nostalgia. It had been a long time since they shared a bunk together and Josh missed the feeling of knowing someone was right next to you... keeping you safe. It used to be normal for them to sleep on the same bunk when Tyler was going through some extreme anxiety a while back; Josh would hold him and it felt like he was holding Tyler together, trying to keep him from crumbling and falling apart. Tonight felt like those days, except Tyler wasn't telling Josh why he was upset. Tyler was keeping quiet and that wasn't normal.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" He asked, figuring he could at least try.

Tyler responded by shaking his head and wrapping himself up against Josh, trying to control his shaky breathing from crying so much. There was a chill in the air so Josh pulled the blanket up around them and held Tyler, making circles with his thumb against his arm and whispering "It'll be okay."

Tyler eventually fell asleep and Josh, despite the current situation, actually felt happy for the first time since the past month's events. He felt like things might be going back to normal again.

He smiled and drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He would get nearly giddy when Tyler would come over. His heart would start racing just a little when Tyler would sit too close to him during interviews. He would look at Tyler and think how gorgeous his best friend is. He would get a little jealous when he chose Jenna over him.
> 
> Wait, was he feeling jealous?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Rob Thomas - This is How a Heart Breaks
> 
> Thanks in advance for reading. :)

When Josh opened his eyes the next morning Tyler's face was extremely close to his.

Josh's breath caught in his chest and he froze where he was laying, closing his eyes shut again. His could feel his face start to burn and it took him a few seconds to process what had happened the night before. He remembered Tyler crying and even just the sound playing in his mind made his heart sink and his stomach feel cold. He remembered Tyler asking him to sleep next to him, and Tyler curling up against him. During the night they must've huddled closer for warmth because the blanket was half off of them and Josh inwardly shivered from the cold morning air coming through the bus windows. And then he slowly opened his eyes again and saw Tyler, right there, so close to his face. It really dawned on him that if he moved forward, just a little bit...

His thought was cut off when Tyler stirred awake and saw Josh looking at him, and for a second, just a _split_ second he could see Tyler's eyes wander down to Josh's lips. Before he could even react to that thought Tyler realized what was happening and cleared his throat while rolling away from Josh. Finally Josh snapped out of his trance and they both (almost in sync) stretched loudly and acted like their faces weren't just two frickin' inches apart. 

"Hey uh... Thanks for staying with me through the night, man. I really needed it" Tyler said with a sincere smile on his face, breaking the awkward silence. 

"Of course buddy, I'd do anything for you" Josh replied, his voice cracking a little on "anything". If he were with anyone else his voice crack would've made him feel self conscious. Instead he smiled back and laughed a little at how strange the whole situation seemed. In fact, life in general seemed strange for Josh. Tyler was the only thing that made sense to him. 

He packed away those thoughts and got ready for the interview they were scheduled to have in only 30 minutes. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This interview was simple; easy. There was something about how the woman interviewing them showed real interest in what they had to say that made things easier. She didn't ask the same questions that everybody else asked, which helped too. 

"So," The woman leaned forward a little in her seat, "I heard you guys are quite close friends, being on the road together and all". Tyler and Josh both nodded their heads and smiled.

"Yeah, we've gotten to really know each other over the years, haven't we, Josh?" Tyler looked over and saw him playing with his hands. 

"Yeah, we have" Josh said with a smile, thinking back on all the memories they shared together. So many memories.

"Well, I'm glad you guys have each other. It must make the long nights and the hard work of touring more tolerable"

Josh once again remembered the nights when he'd have to hold Tyler together and he felt the familiar pang of wanting those days back. The days when Tyler when open up to him instead of keep everything to himself. Something was bothering Tyler and Josh desperately wanted to know what was going on in his mind...

After a minute the lady cleared her throat and moved on to the next question.

"So, as we all know, you guys filmed the Heathens music video recently. How was that whole experience and getting to work for such a big project?" She smiled unknowingly to the question that instantly ruined the whole mood of the interview. Josh was hoping she wouldn't ask about it, but, well, it was inevitable. His eyes moved to the floor and didn't move.

"It was fun" Tyler lied, trying his best to smile and hint that he wanted to move on to the next question.

Instead the lady kept asking more about the filming of the video, and Josh tuned out everything. He didn't want to know what Tyler had to say and he didn't want to know what the lady had to ask. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to remember...

...  
..  
.

#### May 9th, 2016

Josh was getting his place ready for Tyler to come over and he couldn't stop smiling like a dork. They had so much planned for the time he would be there, and honestly Josh was getting a little lonely from being home alone. His friends were mostly busy with work and other things so most of the time Josh was looking forward to when he could hang out with Tyler.

Plus, things had been going great between them lately. Tyler would offer to take him out to do things like go bowling or take him out to a fancy restaurant for the night and those were the nights that Josh cherished. 

Tonight was one of those nights.

While Josh was cleaning the kitchen counter he heard his phone going off, and he didn't have to look at it to know who it was. He answered the call and casually said "Whatsup?"

"Hey, Josh." Tyler said with a raspy voice

"You uh, you okay? You don't sound too good."

"There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Okay." Josh's heart sank. He knew this wasn't going to end well. 

"So uh... About me coming over-"

"Wait. You aren't canceling on me, are you?"

"Josh-"

"Tyler..."

"I can't."

"Why?" Josh squeaked, his heart racing.

"Things came up."

"Something more important than our big night before shooting the music video?"

"Josh..." Tyler sounded like he was about to burst into tears.

"Can't you at least tell me why?"

"I can't always tell you everything, Josh." Tyler's voice cracked on his name and he sounded more angry than sad. "I can't take care of you. I can't do everything for you."

"Wait, what?"

"Jenna is here with me and I'm going to stay with her instead."

The moment he said her name his mouth dropped open; a million thoughts racing through his head. "But this night was for you and me..."

"See, that's the thing, Josh. It can't always be about me and you. I'm not your boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

People joked about them being together all the time, but... Josh never thought of Tyler in that way. He never thought that Tyler was "his". But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He would get nearly giddy when Tyler would come over. His heart would start racing just a little when Tyler would sit too close to him during interviews. He would look at Tyler and think how gorgeous his best friend is. He would get a little jealous when he chose Jenna over him.

Wait, was he feeling jealous?

"Josh?"

He couldn't find the right words to say. It was all so fast.

"Josh, we can't do this. I'm trying to find somewhere for me and Jenna to stay."

"There's some really nice hotels" and with that Josh hung up the phone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Josh's heart raced as he looked at Tyler and to his surprise Tyler looked back, as if trying to search for something in his eyes again. What was he searching for? What could Josh possibly do to help in this situation? He felt helpless. His best friend was going through turmoil and all Josh could think about was moving in and kissing all of Tyler's troubles away, one by one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue! :D  
> Also, sorry the chapters are so short. Still getting the hang of this.
> 
> Song:  
> Matchbox Twenty - Unwell  
> 

When Josh came back to the present Tyler was nudging his leg, trying to get his attention. He looked concerned.

If only he knew how confused he was right now. Josh wished he could tell Tyler everything, he wished he could tell him how he felt. For a month his whole world had been flipped upside down and he didn't know what to do. Josh had dealt with falling in love with girls, but never falling in love with his best friend.

What are you supposed to do?

"...so yeah, that's what the black paint means to me." Tyler had just finished explaining what the black paint on his body means (for the millionth time) and Josh finally looked over at him. Tyler was looking somewhere off in the distance, probably lost in his own thoughts as well. His hair was a little messed up from touching it so much and he couldn't stop fiddling with his wedding ring. He kept spinning it around, taking it off, flipping it around in his fingers and putting it back on. The interviewer could tell that it was about time to wrap things up, so she thanked them for coming and shook their hands.

On their way out there weren't many words exchanged. They didn't have anything planned for a few more hours so Josh thought he could take the opportunity to talk to Tyler. Maybe he could get something out of him.

"Hey, Tyler?"

"Yeah."

"Can we talk?"

Tyler stopped walking and looked at Josh. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I dunno... I was just really worried about you last night." Josh looked at the ground.

"Oh."

"Why have you been so sad lately? I feel like you're hiding a lot things from me" Josh said with a frown.

"Josh..."

"Please, stop doing that."

"It's complicated, Josh."

"I thought best friends are supposed to trust each other."

"It's not that I don't trust you..."

"What _is_ it then?" Josh's voice raised a little higher.

Suddenly Tyler's eyes filled with tears and he sat down on the concrete slab next to them, putting his head in his hands. "Just... Me and Jenna aren't doing so well..."

Josh was shocked, honestly. "Oh, Tyler..."

"It's the distance." Tyler's voice was shaking. "She said she gets really lonely when I'm on the road, so we've been trying to see each other more, but it doesn't feel like it's helping anything. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry..."

He didn't want him to worry? He was already worried, and at least things made a little more sense now. He felt bad for pushing, but the silence was slowly killing him. He never imagined Tyler and Jenna having problems. He always imagined them as the perfect couple. "I was already worried" was the only thing Josh could manage to say.

"I know. Just, please don't tell anyone. Okay? I can barely handle this right now."

"I won't, I promise. I know how hard distance can be." Josh said, remembering his last relationship.

"Well, it's not just that," Tyler hesitated, "She said she, um.... She talks about the people she hangs out with. And they're... mostly guys. I know I should be okay with it, but it feels weird knowing she's hanging out with all these guys when we should be hanging out, you know?"

"I know."

"But then I think about how she must feel, and I see how she could be jealous of you. And me."

Josh was taken aback. "Jealous of... _us_?"

"I mean, we are hanging out almost every minute of every day, dude"

"Well yeah, but... We're just friends."

"So are her guy friends, but that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do."

Josh didn't know how to respond. Does Jenna think that they might be... more than friends? The very thought brought butterflies to his stomach and guilt washed over him like a wave. God, why couldn't he just stop feeling those things? Why did Tyler have to say the word "boyfriend" that night? Ever since that night he's seen Tyler in a different light; seen him as more than a friend.

 _Crap_ , Josh thought. Maybe Jenna _should_ be worried. 

"Is that why you chose to stay with Jenna that night instead of at my place?" 

Tyler winced. "It was mostly because we were gonna try to figure things out. I never meant to say the things I did that night. I'm sorry, Josh. I felt horrible the second we hung up. I couldn't believe I had said those things to you."

"I'm sorry, too."

Josh saw that Tyler was playing with his wedding ring again, and he reached over to stop him. He realized too late that he hadn't really thought this through. He also realized he was now holding his friend's hand, and Tyler wasn't moving. Josh's heart raced as he looked at Tyler and to his surprise Tyler looked back, as if trying to search for something in his eyes again. What was he searching for? What could Josh possibly do to help in this situation? He felt helpless. His best friend was going through turmoil and all Josh could think about was moving in and kissing all of Tyler's troubles away, one by one.

Tyler's expression suddenly turned very sad as he took his hand from Josh's and stood up.

"I..." Tyler began to say, but after he failed to find the right words he turned around and ran away, not looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

(TYLER'S POV)

All Tyler wanted to do was run. Run away from his problems and not look back. Run until there was no more air left in his lungs. Run until his legs couldn't run any more. Run until he disappeared into nothing.

He wasn't sure where he was running to, but he couldn't stop.

And for some reason the thing that upset him the most was that Josh didn't run after him.

Josh's name rang through his head like a bell. Josh, the one that was just holding his hand. Josh, his best friend. Josh, the one with the smile that could light up the darkest of spaces. The one with a laugh that radiated pure joy. The one with cotton candy pink hair and the best hugs in the universe. The only one who was there to see him at his lowest points and the only one to hold him together like glue when he couldn't hold himself together. The one who understood him most.

The one who might be destroying his marriage.

 _No_ , he thought. Jenna was the one ruining everything.

Jenna was the one who told Tyler to not stay with Josh that night because she "had a weird feeling" about it. She said she didn't like the idea of them hanging out so much. She was the one who didn't like Josh from the beginning. 

She was the one that got upset when he got a tattoo of Josh's name on his leg and not her name.

She was the one who accused Josh of being gay, and that he was getting in the way of their marriage.

"So what if he's gay!" Tyler had yelled that night of their fight. Of course he was going to defend him.

" _So what_? _What if he's in love with you_?" Jenna was nearly screaming at this point.

"That's _none_ of your business! And do you really think that would effect our relationship? I love _you_ , Jenna. Why do you always have to get so jealous?"

Jenna's face had turned cold, as if she had been slapped in the face. "Maybe I just don't trust you anymore, Tyler. I never get to see you. You're always with... _him_ "

"Well maybe that's because he treats me more like a friend than you do." At that point Tyler had slammed the door to their house and went on a long walk, trying to figure out why she was acting so aggressive all of a sudden.

Sadly, not much had changed since that fight.

His legs physically couldn't go any farther and his lungs were burning, so he finally stopped running and tried to catch his breath. He saw a nice spot on a grassy hillside and he decided to sit there. The grass felt cool against his burning body. He ran his fingers through it and pulled up a bunch, throwing it somewhere in front of him.

His breathing slowed and he found he couldn't stop staring at his wedding ring. Lately it had been feeling too tight, and not in the literal sense. He felt its presence constantly as if it were suffocating his finger and his mind by reminding him of his failing marriage and he only felt better when he would take it off and play with it. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt better with it off. He felt like he could breathe.

Suddenly his phone started vibrating in his pocket, and his stomach twisted when he saw the name "Jenna" plastered all over the screen. He hadn't talked to her in a couple days and the last texts they exchanged were small and insignificant. He wasn't ready to talk to her, but after letting the phone ring a few times he finally decided to pick up.

"Hey, Jenna."

Jenna was crying, really hard.

"Jenna?"

"Tyler..."

"Jenna, what happened?" Tyler was frantic. They weren't on the best terms but he still cared about her. Her crying made his stomach knot up into a big ball.

"Oh... God, Tyler..." She sobbed between every word and sounded like she was hyperventilating.

"Jenna, you have to breath. It'll be okay. I can't help if you can't tell me what's wrong."

"It's... not... okay..."

"Please, just breath..."

"I..."

Tyler waited.

"I slept with another man, Tyler..."

Tyler's heart nearly stopped beating. 

"I've talked with so many people... And they all told me to just tell you..."

Silence.

"I... I got drunk one night..." Tyler didn't know she drank. "I was just having fun, but I... guess I had too much to drink... I woke up the next morning in another man's room..."

Silence.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Silence.

"Please, say something Ty-"

"Don't."

"I'm sorry-"

Tyler hung up the phone and threw it against a tree, shattering the screen. He shivered even though it was almost 90 degrees outside and his arms slowly became covered in goose bumps. Even though his heart was beating out of his chest he didn't feel anything; Tyler went into autopilot. He looked down from where he was sitting and saw people walking along a river, holding hands or walking their dogs or just going on a jog. They would continue their day normally. They didn't just get told that they were cheated on.

 _Well_ , he laughed darkly, _that solves the problem of my failing relationship_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He rested his cheek on Tyler's head. His nose filled with the scent of Tyler's hair and it sent a wave of feelings through him. He felt comfortable, right there and in that moment with Tyler resting against him. He felt safe, happy, relaxed. If he had a choice in the matter he wouldn't ever want to leave this moment.
> 
> He held Tyler closer and let out a long, content sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:  
> ODESZA - Say My Name (feat. Zyra)
> 
> If this isn't fluffy I don't know what fluffy is.  
> (Don't worry, the real stuff will be coming soon)
> 
> (!!Also!!, I don't dislike Jenna in any way, I just haven't seen any stories where Jenna breaks up with Tyler and I wanted to try it out. Jenna is probably an amazing wife IRL)

(JOSH’S POV)

They were supposed to be playing a show in an hour, and nobody could find Tyler. Josh was convinced that he had destroyed their friendship by holding his hand and he couldn’t stop beating himself up over it. Why did he have to do it? Why did he have to let his feelings get in the way again? Most importantly, where the _heck_ was Tyler?

A half an hour passed, and still no sign of his friend.

Ten minutes until opening, and everybody was freaking out.

Five minutes until they had to go on stage and Josh didn’t know what to do. At this point he was on the edge of a panic attack. All sorts of horrible thoughts flooded his mind and the room started to spin. He put his hand on the wall and tried to steady himself. Their manager came up to Josh and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. Josh couldn’t hear a word he was saying…

He could just barely hear the audience cheering for them to come on. The manager decided that they had no choice but to cancel the show while Josh tried to call Tyler for the... what, 11th time? It went straight to voicemail again. 

His hands went numb.

It was all his fault.

He ruined everything.

Josh was in full panic mode and they had one minute until they had to perform when Tyler came through the doors. 

Josh nearly jumped out of his skin and ran over to Tyler, hugging him so tight that he was afraid he might actually break him. Relief flooded over him as his panic attack subsided. He was so afraid that he had lost Tyler.

Josh pulled away from his embrace and looked at Tyler with tears in his eyes. Tyler had tears in his eyes, too. His hair was extremely messy. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he had been through Hell and back. Josh then remembered what had happened earlier and took his hands off of Tyler.

“What… happened?” Was all that Josh could get out of his mouth.

He could hear the audience start to get restless. They had been stalling for the past few minutes and the fans knew something was wrong. 

“I’ll tell you later” Tyler finally replied. 

“Alright guys” The manager said, “You still able to perform?”

“Yeah” Tyler responded, trying to wipe the dried tears off of his face and trying to compose himself. The two of them looked terrible, but they both quickly got ready and went onto the stage.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Josh took back what he had said before. _This_ was the best show they had ever done. 

Tyler’s emotion was visible. Josh’s drumming was intense. The only problem was that they had to take “Tear in my Heart” off the setlist because Tyler said he couldn’t perform it, and Josh knew why. Or at least he thought he knew why.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” 

Josh and Tyler were sitting on the couch inside their tour bus, mostly sitting in silence. It was almost midnight now and Josh had been waiting all night to ask what had happened, but he wanted to wait until Tyler was okay with talking about it. 

“Sorry for what?” Tyler asked, looking at Josh.

“Uh…” Josh looked at his shoes and shifted on the couch uncomfortably. “The thing that happened before you ran away and didn’t return until the very last minute.”

Tyler looked away from Josh and stared at the ceiling, breathing slow, even breaths.

“Are you mad at me?” Josh asked, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“No. No no no. I’m not mad at you Josh. Something else happened...”

Josh looked at Tyler and saw tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

“Jenna cheated on me."

“ _What?_ ”

“I haven’t let it sink in yet,” Tyler slowly explained. “I mean, _how_ do you let something like this sink in? Knowing your wife slept in another man’s bed; did things with another man-”

“How could she do this?” Josh’s face was hot with anger. His hands were shaking. 

“I don’t know.” Tyler’s voice broke and the tears he was holding back fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. “I thought she loved me.”

Josh abruptly stood up and walked over to where his phone was charging.

“What are you doing?” Tyler’s face was already wet with tears. 

“I’m going to tell Jenna how much she’s messed up. I’m going to give her a piece of my mind, I’m gonna-”

“No, please, don’t…” Tyler pleaded. “That would just make things worse…”

Josh took a step back and tried to breathe. 

“Okay.” Josh closed his eyes and tried to get the anger out of his system. He knew that Tyler didn’t like seeing him like this, but… Jenna hurt him. Josh tried to not get too defensive of Tyler most of the time but seeing him cry and knowing she did this to him… He wanted to give her a piece of his freaking mind. He knew something was off about her from the start, but he wanted his best friend to be happy.

And he definitely wasn’t happy. 

“Is there something wrong with me?” Tyler whimpered, covering his face with his hands.

“No! God, no.” Josh walked back over to the couch and sat on it again. “There’s nothing wrong with you. She’s the one who couldn’t appreciate how amazing you really are.”

“You think I’m… amazing?” Tyler looked at Josh, choking on his words between sobs.

“Of course.” Josh smiled. “You are so talented, and on top of that you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”

Tyler chuckled a little. “Pfft, I could say the same about you.”

“You think so?” Josh put his arm around Tyler, and Tyler rested his head on Josh’s chest. His heart started beating a little faster and he prayed that Tyler wouldn't notice.

“Of course. You're a better friend than she ever was to me.”

Josh swelled with pride. He could always tell that Jenna wasn't giving her full self to Tyler and that always bothered Josh. It was in the way she acted; she would look happier with friends than with her husband.

Honestly, half the time Tyler seemed happier with him than he ever did with Jenna...

He rested his cheek on Tyler's head. His nose filled with the scent of Tyler's hair and it sent a wave of feelings through him. He felt comfortable, right there and in that moment with Tyler resting against him. He felt safe, happy, relaxed. If he had a choice in the matter he wouldn't ever want to leave this moment.

He held Tyler closer and let out a long, content sigh.

After a minute of comfortable silence, Tyler spoke up. Josh had thought he'd fallen asleep.

"Josh?"

"Yeah."

"What're you thinking about?"

He was thinking about how he wanted _this_ to be real; how he could treat Tyler so much better than Jenna ever did. He was thinking of all the memories they shared together. All of the times Josh might've been holding Tyler together because of Jenna. All the times Josh wanted to kiss him just to know what it would feel like. 

All the times Josh had joked about saying he loved him, but in reality he was actually desperately in love with him. 

Josh realized he hadn't even said anything back yet and panicked.

"Oh, you know. The usual," he chuckled nervously. "Thinking about how good Taco bell would be right now."

Tyler got up out of Josh's embrace and turned over to look at him. 

"I want to know what you're _really_ thinking about," Tyler said, raising his eyebrows at "really" and staring deep into Josh's eyes.

"Uhh..." Josh nervously tried to think of something to say, but he couldn't. He felt paralyzed; his heart beating out of his chest.

Tyler broke the intense stare and laughed a hearty laugh, playfully hitting Josh's arm. "I'm just Joshin' you." He giggled and got up to go to the back of the bus.

Josh couldn't help but smile and laugh inwardly at his play on words. He let out the breath he was holding and saw Tyler's reflection in the mirror in front of him. He was getting something out of his bag; smiling from ear to ear.

And Josh could almost swear he was blushing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :) This is my first fic and I don't know how long this will be, but I would love to know if you enjoyed it and want more. Also, criticism is welcome as long as you keep it reasonable.


End file.
